I grew up in the '80s with a diagnosis of "Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity" (what we now call ADHD), starting as early as kindergarten. While today ADHD is often embraced as part of being "neurodivergent" (sometimes even seen as a little cool) it was a whole different story back then! I was the outcast, navigating a world that didn’t understand or accommodate minds like mine.
I struggled to fit in, often labeled with "disorders" that never truly defined who I was. These labels felt limiting... unable to capture the depth of my thoughts or the complexity of my spirit.
School was a constant challenge, but it also became the spark that ignited my rebellious nature. It pushed me to question societal norms, inspiring me to carve out my own path instead of following one laid before me.
Journaling became my sanctuary...a safe haven where I could untangle my emotions and give voice to the thoughts I felt the world couldn’t understand.
Over time, I embraced my unique way of learning and processing the world... recognizing that what made me feel so "different" was the source of my greatest strength... fueling my creativity, curiosity, and drive to uncover hidden truths and forge my own path to self discovery.
Today, I view those struggles as stepping stones. They shaped my creativity, resilience, and determination to live authentically. I am passionate about sharing this journey, not to dwell on the past, but to inspire others to embrace their differences and find their own light within the darkness.
I'll start with a question I get asked most often:
"What does Elacious Anjel mean?"
In 4th grade, I had a special Ed teacher named Miss Greene. One day, she handed each of us a blank journal and instructed us to write our names on the cover. She told us to use it to express our thoughts and feelings… to write down whatever came to mind. Each night, she brought the journals home, read what we wrote, made comments, wrote us a note, and returned them to our cubbies the next morning.
At first, I hated it. I didn’t know what to write, so I created elaborate stories. Miss Greene, saw right through my fabrications, but was captivated by my vivid imagination. With her encouragement, I eventually found my niche.
Writing became one of the most liberating experiences of my life. Through journaling, I uncovered a natural talent for poetry. Miss Greene often told me I had a gift for words and a remarkable ability to express myself...a rare talent, she said, that not everyone possesses.
"Words can move mountains," she told me.
There were many times I found myself overwhelmed by my emotions, pouring my tears and thoughts onto the pages of my journal. At first, it felt like a release, but over time, I began to notice something emerging...a hidden darkness within myself.
This darkness was insidious, creeping into my thoughts and actions like an ever-present shadow, coloring my perceptions and influencing my choices. It embodied the parts of myself I was ashamed of, the thoughts I wished I didn’t have, and the mistakes I regretted deeply.
To cope, I decided to separate myself from this shadowy presence...So I gave it a name... "Elacious".
It was a way to acknowledge its existence without letting it define me.
Over time, I also became aware of another presence within me...a radiant, almost ethereal light that seemed to have been patiently waiting in the depths of my being. This light wasn’t just powerful; it exuded warmth and a profound sense of hope. It wrapped around the darkness like a comforting embrace, softening its harsh edges and gradually diminishing its influence...
I named this light "Anjel"... the guiding force that served as a counterbalance to Elacious, my darker self.
Anjel was more than a nemesis; it embodied resilience, and my warrior spirit. Reminding me of my ability to rise above and renew myself, even in my darkest moments.
And so, "Elacious Anjel" is the name I wrote on the cover of that journal in 4th grade.
And it's the pseudonym I have used ever since... A representation of my light and dark, the duality within me, and my eternal struggle to find balance between these two polarities.
It took me way too long, but over time, I came to understand that my light and dark are one and the same. One cannot exist without the other. Where does light end and darkness begin?
Opposites are identical in nature, just vary in degree...It's all about finding balance.
I continued to keep a paper journal until my late 20s. I have a trunk filled with dozens of journals I saved throughout the years...(Including that first one I told you about!)
I thought they would be the perfect guide for when I decided to share my story with the world.
Looking back, In all honesty, I’m convinced that Miss Greene and those journals saved my life. Without that outlet to express myself, I believe the darkness might have prevailed, and I might not be here today.
Who I Am Today...
I am an artist, writer, poet, researcher, and truth seeker. While some might label me a "tin foil hat-wearing conspiracy theorist," I prefer the term "coincidence skeptic"... or perhaps even a prophet?
(Kidding... or am I?) lol
My professional journey began as an IT engineer, a role I held for 12 years before branching into web design, graphic design, advertising, and PR. Today, I own a business in a completely different field...(one I may or may not reveal). Even so, my technical expertise has been the backbone of my research and creative endeavors.
Spiritually, for the past 3 decades or so, I have been on a path of self-discovery and exploration. I’ve always questioned the nature of reality, seeking answers beyond the surface. This journey has led me to connect dots across ancient history, mythology, and esoteric teachings, deepening my understanding of the soul’s eternal nature and our place in the universe.
My work...whether in writing, art, or research, reflects this quest to uncover hidden truths and rediscover our connection to the source.
Why This Page Exists...
The inspiration for this site came during a conversation with my dad about an ancient civilization I had been researching, and some startling conclusions I had made. Trying to explain the significance, I became frustrated as I found myself having to google multiple images to explain my theory.
That's when it hit me…
"I need to create a page to put all this information in one place."
And while I’m at it, why not write that book I’ve been talking about for ages...?
This site marks the beginning of my journey...a space to share my passion for ancient civilizations, esoteric wisdom, and the fascinating connections I’ve uncovered between them.
It’s also a canvas for my creative spirit, reflecting my love for art, writing, and storytelling.
My hope is that this page inspires you to question, explore, and discover your own truths. The journey is just beginning, and I’d be honored to have you join me along the way!!
-Elacious Anjel
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